Wrapping up...

Wow I can't believe that the first semester of my first year of teaching is already over. I am giving my last semester exam right now. So far so good. It is kind of funny but I am a little sad that I will be away from my students for two whole weeks. Yes there are the few that drive me absolutely insane, but, there are also the ones that I have built some great relationships with and enjoy the hellos each day. Once again not trying to compare myself with God but I can understand the great rejoicing there is in Heaven one a lost soul becomes found. God calls us his children and even though I am not a mother yet, these students mean so much to me. To think of something bad happening to them or the fact that they have to face so much in this dark world is heartbreaking. I was talking to my mom last night about that very thing. That so many of these students have to go through things that I could never even imagine and the saddest part is a lot of them face it alone. Just looking at them now makes me wonder what will they face before they reach the end of this year, what will they face before they reach the end of their high school careers? How will their lives turn out, will they find true happiness in Christ or will they struggle to find their place in this unforgiving and cruel world. To think right now they are so young but are not innocent like I was when I was their age. They have had so many things throw at them from such a young age. I mean I have students who have children and I teach freshmen. They know more bad words, more pain, more betral, more abdoment then I could ever dream of knowing. It makes me really stop and thank God for what he has done for me. I mean I have two parents who are still madly in love with each other and are not afraid to show that to us(even if it grossed me out when I was younger). I have three brothers who love me and never took advantage of me or wronged me in a way that would scar me for life. I have grandparents who have been a part of my life and care enough each year to call me for my birthday. I also have great friends; friends who I know that at anytime if I needed them they would be there to help me without question. These are the blessings that God has given to me. The worst heartache I have ever felt was the loss of my granddad, but I can not say the same for so many of my students and that hurts me. It hurts me to know that they face challenges day in and day out that I do not know if I would be able to survive and yet they are here and they are trying to have a better life to make things better for themselves. I just hope that one day they can make that decision to follow Christ and to know that no matter what there is someone out there who loves them passionately and would do anything for them. That is the kind of love they are searching for and I hope that is the kind of love they can see living in me. So as you go through the next couple of weeks remember to look around you at the blessings God has given you and let your family and friends know how much they mean to you because trust me it could be a whole lot worse.

Smiling

I have always been told that as a Christian that God gives you this joy that will radiate off of you. However, I have to say I have never felt like I was glowing with joy before. The reason I started teaching was because I really felt like this is where God was calling me. That my classroom is the mission field God has me serving on, so I guess you could call me a "career" missionary. Anyways, I try really hard to let God show through me to my students so they can see that there is hope in this life. Well here is where we get to the title. If you talk to my family they might not agree with my students but one thing that I have had the majority of my students tell me is that I am always smiling. One boy even told me I smile when I was getting on to them or treating to write him up. It is really funny to me that they see me this way, because I do not always feel like smiling when I am around them. If you are a teacher or have ever worked with kids for a long period of time I know you understand where I am coming from. I thank God daily for the little brother who drove me crazy because he was just preparing me for what was to come in my classroom. So I still do not feel like I am glowing or something like that but I feel like maybe the students have caught a glimpse of what makes me truly happy, because I know that without God those hard days, like my last entry, would be so much harder to bare. Instead He puts a smile on my face daily and allows my students to see that day in and day out. So I challenge you to try it. Whatever your job is, try smiling and see what kind of impact you have on those around you. Like the saying goes, smile it's contagious.

Disaster

Wow it is crazy how quickly you can go for a great day to this day were you are just ready to throw in the towel and say you win, I quiet. Just thought of a verse that might apply....Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:30-31 Today has been super rough on me. It is the first day that I have been super frustrated as a teacher to the point that quieting actually crossed my mind. Horrible I know... what happens that lets it get this far. I don't ever think I could be like God in the sense that He gives and He forgives and He loves on us and we just throw it in His face by knowingly living in sin or by openly rejecting Him. Yet He still loves us and continues to do all that for us. I have tried so hard to be like that but I feel like today I have nothing left to give. It is all gone, my forgiveness thrown to the side, everything thing I have given taken for granite, and all my love brushed off and laughed at. But God told Isaiah that when days like today come, when I have grown tired and weary, when I am stumbling trying to make it through on my own, that if I will stop and place my hope in the Lord that it is Him and Him alone that can renew my strength. Christ can give me wings to soar and energy to run this race without growing tired. And that is it right there. I have been trying to make it on my own today, not once did I stop and ask God, the one passionately pursing me, the one who loves me and will fight for me, the one who can give me unending strength, for help instead I took it upon myself and my own strength to find a way to make it through the day and I fell flat on my face. But it is not to late for Christ to save the day. I mean it is only 3:30. So I am going to place my hope in my loving Father who wants to take care of me. And I am going to run into his open arms and receive that much need embraces, that reassurance, that calm that only He can provide for me. If you had a day like mine maybe you should do the same.......

Change

It is so cool how God uses other people to bless you. I have this one student who is in a gang here in Levelland. He acts all tough and has been in and out of ISS this year. Usually one of those kids that teachers give up on and let them just sit in the back of the classroom and do nothing just so they don't distract the other students. Well I was grading papers last night and not only is this student not missing any papers for the first time this year but he made three 100s out of the four papers I graded. How cool is that. It is a total 180 for this kid. He is trying everyday in class and when we do notes he now answers the questions along with everyone else. He has so much potential just is running with the wrong crowd. The coolest part of the whole thing is that with the grade he is probably going to end up making for this six weeks he will end up passing for the semester. And he was one I was afraid I might have again next year(not that he would be bad to have in class I just want to see each of my students succeed) It is stories like his that gives me hope for the other students in my class room. Also it is really cool to see how he has already started to change into this kid who wants something more for himself and is now working out to get that. So I want to ask that you pray for each of my students that are struggling with direction in their lives that they will want something more, something great out of life and will not let others take those dreams from them. Praise God for the one and hope for many more!!!

Happiness

Happiness...true happiness is an amazing feeling. Things have been a little rough for me the past couple of months. I mean I moved 5 hours away from my family to a town where I knew no one. I started a new job and I moved into a new home....I was basically starting over. It was rough. I mean I a people person and I was alone like all the time. However, I find myself today feeling truly happy. God has put me here for a reason. I have my own mission field; also known as a classroom. It has been so cool to see how some of these students have already changed since the beginning of the year. Like today I had one of my students who has been struggling from the beginning say he wanted to correct papers so he could pass this six weeks and it has never bothered him before if he made good grades. These kids are just reaching out for someone who will not only believe in them and their dreams but someone who will show them a little love and compassion. And they deserve it. You were in high school once think back to how hard it was to stand strong and be your own person. I know that if I did not have the family I have things would most definitely be different for me. Some of these students don't even know their parents, who believes in them, who loves them.
God has also blessed me with this awesome math department. The people here have become like family to me. They laugh with me and worry about me and help me out when I am in need. They have taken me in and never have I felt like I did not fit in with them. It is so funny to because we are very different personalities who seem to all mix well. But the coolest part is that I can look back and see that God had his hand on me the whole time and see a lot of the steps that I took to get here; steps that he put in place for me to follow.
Today I am going to end with a challenge and a request. I challenge you to find a student, college, high school, intermediate, elementary, middle school, show that student that there is someone who cares for them and who believes in their dreams. Second pray for Christian teachers and the students they have in their classroom. These students are our future and will one day replace us. We need to teach them about the love of Christ and how that plays into your everyday life. Remember God is the one who can give us that true happiness and let me tell you it is a great feeling to sit down and say man life is great. God has truly blessed me. Let him do the same for you!!! Have a great Monday!!

The Fall....

Have you ever done something really embarrassing? I have. Example Monday morning...First day back from Thanksgiving holidays....Woke up super tired because I didn't get to sleep in like I was use to.....Decided to make some orange rolls or I was heading down my stairs to preheat my oven when I slipped and fell. Yes that is what I said I fell down my stairs. I landed on my left arm and was fortunate enough to walk away with just a bump and a bruise on my left forearm. However this week has been a constant reminder of my fall. Every time I would twist my arm funny or would touch the bruise I had a painful reminder of this painful accident.
It got me thinking (Fun how God uses everything in life to teach us things, if we listen) that my literal fall is a lot like my spiritual falls. One day I might not be as awake spiritually and that causes me to tumble and I am left with this painful bruise and as a human it is hard for me to let go of it. God says that he forgives us our sins and that they are as far away as the east is from the west but Satan likes for us to think otherwise. That it is not possible for someone just to forget sin that easily. So instead that sin is like the bruise on my arm....when I finally start to forget about it something happens like I roll over in bed onto it and instantly I am painfully remind of the mistake I made. Satan likes for us to have those bruises because as long as we are focusing on our downfalls we are not focusing on what God has in store for us. Sometimes I feel like I am too bruised and battered for God to use me but you know what He is the ultimate healer and He truly does take away those bruises and that soreness because even though it is hard to understand he can forgive us our sins that easily all we have to do is repent. He always wants to use us. Reminds me of a popular saying "God does not call the qualified, He qualifies the called!" You do not have to be perfect for God to use you. In fact look at Paul, he was a percuctor of Christians and God still uses his letters today to help us know what we are suppose to live like a Christians. So I guess all that to say that it does not matter what condition you are in God can still use you as long as you are willing.
Funny how all of that came from a clumsy fall down the stairs and a painful bruise on my arm that is finally starting to fade.
By the way it is okay for you to laugh at me for falling down the stairs. I am okay and will be glad to laugh with you.

How Do I Look?

Okay so if you were like me you ate way too much over the Thanksgiving break. Don’t get me wrong I was super glad to have a home cooked meal three times a day but I feel like I gain ten pounds if not more because of it. This brings me to my thought for today; outward appearances. I got to thinking about how we as humans put so much value on how we look but if you look at the bible how often does God talk about someone’s appearance? In fact He tells one of his priests that he looks at the heart not the outward appearance. (1 Samuel 16:7) I know that I have personally dealt with low self esteem for a lot of my life. It has been hard for me to see the beauty that God has blessed me with because I tend to get stuck on the outward appearance before I can ever make it to the inside.
Another thing that goes along with this is stereotypes. It is so easy for us to take one look at someone and be quick to label them into some stereotype we have created. However, how often do we actually get to know the person we have so effortlessly labeled? We can judge looks so easily but do not want to take the time to get to know the heart. Brandon Heath sings a song called “Give Me Your Eyes.” In this song he is asking God to give him his eyes so that he can see people the way that God sees people. To look past their appearance and see what is lying within. To see their needs, their wants, their hurts, and to want to help them instead of label them. Perhaps then we could help them see past their outward appearance and see how truly beautiful they really are. That God made them in his image and that their heart is what he pursues unlike the world that pursue our looks. So if you feel like you are not skinny enough, you are not tall enough or too tall, that your hair is not the right color, or that your clothes are no longer in style remember that none of that matters to God but that it is the conditions of your heart. So the next time you meet a new person get to know their heart instead of quickly labeling them with a stereotype.

Thanksgiving

This year Thanksgiving Day end up being the first anniversary of my Papa’s death. God has taught me so much through my granddad. Papa was a greater lover. He gave of himself to those we did not have enough and never asked for anything back. He had so much patience, which is a thing I could use more of as a teacher. We were talking about him to my sister-in-law and I told her in my whole life I only can remember one time that Papa got mad (and that was not the time my little brother and I almost blew up his shop.) But through Papa’s death God has taught me so much. I was able to deal with his death easier because I knew where he was going. When mom and I talk about Papa she always says she does not see how people can make it through the loss of a love one with out Christ. There is a song that says, “He sees each tear I cry.” Just to know that Christ is there each time it gets hard to bear to wrap me up in his arms and pull me to his chest and whisper in my ear that it will all be okay. That one day I will see him again in a place that has no pain and no hurt. So even though the selfish human part of me wishes I had more time with him the Christian side knows that I will have more time with him, I will have an eternity.
I think the biggest thing that I have walked away with from Papa’s death is this: God loves us a whole lot. I would not have given up Papa for the sins of everyone else or even for my whole sins, yet God gave up his son and watched him suffer this brutal, inhuman death for me and you. That is a love that I will never be able to understand but with always be very grateful for. So as Thanksgiving break comes to an end I ask that you cherish the moments you have with the ones that you love and remember the amazing and passionate love that God has for us. Thank Him daily for the blessings he has given you!!

The first of many

So I have always enjoyed writing down my thoughts and since both of my older brothers have blogs I thought I would start one too. Plus, lately God has been doing some awesome things in my life and I want to share them with the world or the few people who might stumble across this blog.
Well let me just start by telling you a little bit about me and the title of this blog. First of I am a math teacher so if you notice any grammatical errors that is why. I never was very good at writing but I think it is the story that matters not the words used to tell it. Now the title. Passionately Pursued. That is what God has been showing me lately. He is passionately pursuing me. He is passionately in love with me and longs to show me how passionately that truly is. So as God pours out his love on me you get to hear about it and I hope that you will respond with ways He is passionately loving you. That is all for today. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and what better time to see how God has passionately loved you this past year.