New Church

I visited First Baptist Sundown on Sunday. My mom had met a lady who went to church there and she told me that I should come visit sometime. This was the first Sunday that I have been in town to go visit, so I thought I would give it a try. The Sunday School class is just what I have been wanting. It is a deeper look into the word, where we actually went verse by verse and discussed what Paul was saying to the church he was writing too. The congregation was very friendly. It is a smaller church but there were lots of people who came over to shake my hand and to tell me they were glad I was there. It had that family atmosphere. So I plan on visiting again this Sunday. I do ask that you will be praying for me as I begin visiting churches again. I know that God has a place for me and I know it is not where I am right now. I am ready to be a part of the church not just a pew filler.

Friends

If I could describe my Spring Break in one word it would be "friends." I spent the majority of my spring break hanging out with friends who I have not seen in a while. My first visit was to Georgia to see Jessica, she was the camp director when I served for Infinity Sports. I had not seen her in about three and a half years so as you can image there was a lot of catching up to do. The thing that I love most about our relationship is that Jess always challenged me. It was just what I needed, I was able to share with her some of the things that were on my heart and she gave me some well need advice. I enjoy having someone who can challenge me to go deeper in my relationship with Christ and she does just that.
After Georgia it was on to Brownwood for lunch with Steve Bailey. Steve was a sub while I was doing my student teaching in Early. It was great getting to catch up with him over lunch. Steve is one of those miracles that God has placed in my life. He had to have a heart transplant a couple of years ago, so the fact that I got to meet him was a blessing.
Finally I ended the week with my life long friend Jennifer. We met for supper and talked for two and a half hours straight and didn't even realize it. It was great to laugh and remonise about the past and things that we have gone through. It is funny how you can see the stages of my life through the friends that I have.
I heard a quote one time that says "Friends are one heart in two bodies." I feel like that is true, you connect with your friends on a deeper level and they stick wih you for life. You may not seem them for years at a time but when you do finally get together it is as if no time has passed at all. You are able to pick up right where you left on and continue to grow that relationship. I thank God everyday that he created friendship, that we are about to build a bond between each other, to share our struggles, to cry and laugh together, and to challenge each other to be the best person that we can be. So take some time to remember all the good times you have had with you friends and let them know how much you love them and how they have impacted your life for the better.

Sunday

God grabbed my heart and my attention this weekend. Saturday was my mom's birthday so both Joshua and I came home to spend some time with her and dad. We spent all day Saturday together shopping and decorating for the church fellowship on Sunday and best of all Skyping my brother and his family. It was a well needed day of laughter and love. Then on Sunday I was able to go to church at the church where I have basically spent half of my life time. It was refreshing to be greeted first by people and to have arms opened to me for some much desired hugs. It felt like I had come home and really that is true. That church is my family, they have been there for me through so much and have prayered for me more times than I will ever know. I felt like I belonged somewhere. That was only the beginning. God had taken hold of my heart and was about to squeeze it. In worship we began to sing, Judy had picked wonderful praise and worship songs and I could feel the emotion building up in me. I knew God was there with me and that He was showing me something and I tried to hold back the tears. Then we came to the song Clean Hands. Just singing those words "Oh God let us be a generation that seeks, that seeks your face." and "Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts, let us not lift our souls to another." I couldn't hold back the emotion anymore. Growing up I use to ask God to break my heart for His people and Sunday He did that. We are not a generation who is seeking God faces, we are a generation who is seeking money and the latest technology. It is all about how to get ahead and we don't care who we hurt along the way. We have become so hard hearted, and our hands are anything but clean. We bow our hearts to so many idols, money, pride, success. Our eyes have fallen for the Lord and landed on anything that can help us get what we want. I want to be one who seeks God face, who strives to have a pure heart and clean hands. I know that it will not always be easy, that there is going to be tough times but that when I am struggling there is a body of people who will be praying for me. That even though right now I don't always feel like I belong that there will always be a place for me in the family of God and that I am forever loved by someone one whose love is beyond all understanding. So I challenge you today to look and see what are you bowing your heart to and what is it that you are seeking?

Exhausted

Lately I have not been sleeping well. I tend to wake up in the middle of the night and then struggle to get back to sleep. Every once in a while I am blessed with the great fortune of sleeping all the way through the night. The worse part of about it is that not only am I not sleeping well but I have also been having some really crazy dreams. Of course with my family crazy dreams are a norm but for some reason these seem crazier than normal. With each passing night my exhaustion grows. Then Tuesday came, and if you are from Texas you know that Tuesday was TAKS ELA (or at least if you are a teacher). As a TAKS administrator it is your job to "actively monitoring" the students as they take their test. This means walking around the room to make sure that no student is cheating or doing something they should not be doing during the test. So Tuesday I was on my feet no stop from 7:15 until 12:55, and for the majority of that time I was walking in circles around a class room in complete silence. So now my body is starting to feel the exhaustion as well. But the exhaustion that has been bothering me the most is spiritual exhaustion I have started to feel lately.
I feel like going to church and being a part of the church activities has become this burden that I carry around. I have to convince myself every Sunday to get up and go to church. It shouldn't be like that!!! I want that desire to be a part of a church and to feel like I am growing in the Lord. Where I am right now is not really sparking that fire in my soul but instead it is allowing that fire to slowly die down. I want to be challenged! I have been blessed with a family who has helped me grow and develop in the Lord and sometime I just feel like I have already heard it all before. I want something new. I want to dive deeper and deeper into the word. I want to thirst and hunger for the will of God in my life and then seek it out in pray and in His word. I want someone who is going to keep me accountable, who I can discuss the hard question of life with, and with whom I can share my struggles in this life. I want to be a better person, who God is continually molding because I am allowing Him to do so and I want spend time with Him each day to know what needs to change in my life. I am ready to have a good spiritual exhaustion, one where I have spent so much time feeding my soul that I feel like if I kept going I would die from exhaustion. Not this dread of going to church and the desire to stay home each Sunday to spend time alone with the Lord. I want a place where I can serve Him along side other believers and that I can praise Him with the rest of the family as well as share my thoughts and ideas about His word and listen to their ideas as well. So I ask that you will please pray for me as once again I start the search for the church where I belong. Also if you will pray for me as I seek God's will for my life and for the changes that He has for me in the near future.